As promised, I want to give you some ways in which you can start to find your calm and feel like you are in command. We all have different cubicles, if you will, in our brain. A whole bunch of subconscious activity that somehow comes together in a brilliant symphony that gets you through life.
Think about it: There’s the part that when you get in the car – I’ll call it your ‘driving part’. You don’t really have to think when you’re driving somewhere, you just turn the car on, point yourself in the right direction (especially if it’s a long road trip), listen to the radio, sing along, use your wipers when you need to, and then BOOM, you’re suddenly at your destination.
Then there’s the ‘mom part’. I have a mom part. When I’m in mom-mode, wearing my mom-hat, I tend to talk to my children in a certain way that I might not talk to my friends. So, we have all these different subconscious ‘parts’.
I’m sure many of you have a ‘work part’ as well. You’re going about your morning, dropping into the coffee shop, ordering, going through those swinging doors, up the escalator, things that have become just so ingrained in you over the years that they almost become robotic. Until now.
The Fear Parts
And right now what many of you are going to be experiencing are ‘fear parts’, parts that were developed in your childhood that were initially created to protect you! Keep you safe from the monster under your bed, or the strange sounds your house made as it settled at night, anything really that protected you from “perceived danger.” And that fear in many ways – the part of your mind that is responsible for that fear – survived and it’s still a little kid and it hasn’t grown up. So what we want to do is we want to grow this fear part of you ALL THE WAY up.
One way you can do this is to create your most conscious mind.
The mind that’s going to be leading you during that crisis. A mind that is knowing, a mind that’s calm, a mind that has experience. In order to do that, what I want you to understand is the part that’s coming up with all that fear and anxiety – it is actually not telling you the truth.
It’s not based on fact.
It’s not based on reality.
What it’s based on is what you believe.
And the good news is, you can change what you believe!
Here are some steps to help you to broaden and strengthen your conscious mind:
Strengthen Your Conscious Mind
Over the years working with my clients I’ve realized that you can spot when your ‘fear parts’ are overtaking your conscious mind when you recognize how old you feel.
And that’s how my clients have always determined that they know that they are in those fear parts of their mind because they are not thinking rationally.
They don’t feel their chronological age.
They don’t feel strong.
They don’t feel like the experienced, successful people they actually are – because they’re living in childhood fear-mode.
We don’t want these ‘fear parts’ to be in charge.
So, first what you’re going to do is this:
- Think back to a time of crisis in your life. Something you had to deal with that was particularly traumatic or difficult.
- And I want you to write down what you learned from that and what the positive traits or beliefs that were created as a result of that.
- I want you to really dig down deep and
- find what lessons,
- what beliefs,
- what feelings you acquired, on a positive level, that you learned from dealing with – and coming out the other side of – that trauma.
The healthy beliefs that you have currently – that you’ve spent years developing because of your life experience, business, personal and otherwise, IS WHAT YOU TRULY ARE.
All of the strength that you’ve acquired over the years. All of the ability to pivot and to adapt and to learn is what’s going to help you weather the storm. Everybody has innate talents and innate strengths that they are born with, what I would call God-given.
And these are going to be the things that you use in order to create the calm.
Then, I want you to imagine your best self.
- What you want to be,
- Who you really are – what you envision that you can be.
- I want you to imagine that you are a leader that can deal with anything, and that you are, in fact, in command of that rocking, stormy ship.
- What are those feelings and what are those beliefs and what are those traits? Write them down too!
And I want you to connect with those. And in the next while, my advice would be for you to go back and look at those two columns. Everything you learned from the crisis, all the knowledge, all the wisdom, all the life lessons, all the ingenuity.
And then read column two, which I want you to imagine that you, during this time crisis, during this crisis period, are going to be your best self. Who is your best self? What does that look like? How does that best “self” feel? What actions do they take? How do they feel in their skin?
The most important thing that anybody has ever done in a crisis is to adapt and learn.
And we’ve survived this long as a human species because we have the ability to adapt, to learn, to survive, to be optimistic, to believe that we can do anything. And I one thousand percent believe these same traits – evolutionary traits, really – are going to get us through these next months.
Reach out to me at any time, via MeganO’Neill.ca if you need some reassurance. We are all in this together.
And I’ve found some time each day in which to help people who need an ear with mindset speciality.