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Megan O'Neill

Megan O'Neill

Mindset Mentor

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mindset

Get back in command of your life!

April 3, 2020

As promised, I want to give you some ways in which you can start to find your calm and feel like you are in command. We all have different cubicles, if you will, in our brain. A whole bunch of subconscious activity that somehow comes together in a brilliant symphony that gets you through life. 

Think about it: There’s the part that when you get in the car – I’ll call it your ‘driving part’. You don’t really have to think when you’re driving somewhere, you just turn the car on, point yourself in the right direction (especially if it’s a long road trip), listen to the radio, sing along, use your wipers when you need to, and then BOOM, you’re suddenly at your destination. 

Then there’s the ‘mom part’. I have a mom part. When I’m in mom-mode, wearing my mom-hat, I tend to talk to my children in a certain way that I might not talk to my friends. So, we have all these different subconscious ‘parts’. 

I’m sure many of you have a ‘work part’ as well. You’re going about your morning, dropping into the coffee shop, ordering, going through those swinging doors, up the escalator, things that have become just so ingrained in you over the years that they almost become robotic. Until now.

The Fear Parts

And right now what many of you are going to be experiencing are ‘fear parts’, parts that were developed in your childhood that were initially created to protect you! Keep you safe from the monster under your bed, or the strange sounds your house made as it settled at night, anything really that protected you from “perceived danger.” And that fear in many ways – the part of your mind that is responsible for that fear – survived and it’s still a little kid and it hasn’t grown up. So what we want to do is we want to grow this fear part of you ALL THE WAY up.

One way you can do this is to create your most conscious mind. 

The mind that’s going to be leading you during that crisis. A mind that is knowing, a mind that’s calm, a mind that has experience. In order to do that, what I want you to understand is the part that’s coming up with all that fear and anxiety – it is actually not telling you the truth. 

It’s not based on fact. 

It’s not based on reality. 

What it’s based on is what you believe. 

And the good news is, you can change what you believe!

Here are some steps to help you to broaden and strengthen your conscious mind:

Strengthen Your Conscious Mind

Over the years working with my clients I’ve realized that you can spot when your ‘fear parts’ are overtaking your conscious mind when you recognize how old you feel. 

And that’s how my clients have always determined that they know that they are in those fear parts of their mind because they are not thinking rationally. 

They don’t feel their chronological age. 

They don’t feel strong. 

They don’t feel like the experienced, successful people they actually are – because they’re living in childhood fear-mode.

We don’t want these ‘fear parts’ to be in charge.

So, first what you’re going to do is this:

  1. Think back to a time of crisis in your life. Something you had to deal with that was particularly traumatic or difficult. 
  2. And I want you to write down what you learned from that and what the positive traits or beliefs that were created as a result of that. 
  3. I want you to really dig down deep and 
    1. find what lessons, 
    2. what beliefs,
    3. what feelings you acquired, on a positive level, that you learned from dealing with – and coming out the other side of – that trauma. 

The healthy beliefs that you have currently – that you’ve spent years developing because of your life experience, business, personal and otherwise, IS WHAT YOU TRULY ARE.

All of the strength that you’ve acquired over the years. All of the ability to pivot and to adapt and to learn is what’s going to help you weather the storm. Everybody has innate talents and innate strengths that they are born with, what I would call God-given. 

And these are going to be the things that you use in order to create the calm.

Then, I want you to imagine your best self.

  1. What you want to be, 
  2. Who you really are – what you envision that you can be. 
  3. I want you to imagine that you are a leader that can deal with anything, and that you are, in fact, in command of that rocking, stormy ship.
  4. What are those feelings and what are those beliefs and what are those traits? Write them down too!

And I want you to connect with those. And in the next while, my advice would be for you to go back and look at those two columns. Everything you learned from the crisis, all the knowledge, all the wisdom, all the life lessons, all the ingenuity. 

And then read column two, which I want you to imagine that you, during this time crisis, during this crisis period, are going to be your best self. Who is your best self? What does that look like? How does that best “self” feel? What actions do they take? How do they feel in their skin? 

The most important thing that anybody has ever done in a crisis is to adapt and learn. 

And we’ve survived this long as a human species because we have the ability to adapt, to learn, to survive, to be optimistic, to believe that we can do anything. And I one thousand percent believe these same traits – evolutionary traits, really – are going to get us through these next months.  

Reach out to me at any time, via MeganO’Neill.ca if you need some reassurance. We are all in this together. 

And I’ve found some time each day in which to help people who need an ear with mindset speciality.

Stay safe.

Megan

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, communication, mindset

The solution – part 2 – Pick ONLY one: Command OR Control

January 27, 2020

“Take a route of exploration and creativity, set some simple goals you want to accomplish, and experience what it feels like to step into your authentic power, connect to your true self, and own your value!”

Does that sentence drive you into mild palpitation?

The nearest adult beverage perchance?

I know my kind says that sort of thing a lot. I have too, on many occasions. It’s all about context, though.

Before most people can absorb a message like that in my experience, it’s necessary to break a few factors down.

In my work with people, we craft something called a ‘Contract for Change’. If I were to make a word cloud of the things I hear most often it would consist of these words:

  1. Calm
  2. Confident
  3. Not control-freaky
  4. Less-obsessive
  5. Less-perfectionist

To my mind what that screams is less CONTROL and more COMMAND.

Let’s use a cruise metaphor. 

There’s an engineering department that keeps the ship moving. There’s a customer service department that keeps the cruisers happy. There’s a kitchen with a head chef that keeps the people fed. There’s a health and sanitary department that makes sure 100s of floating people don’t get sick and die 😀

And there’s a captain.
Who commands all of it.

She doesn’t try to control all the details of the departments. Because she knows better.
Yet she channels the sum of the parts.
And if things go wrong, guess who gets to direct the fixing?
She does.

You are the captain.
Of your life. Of your career. All of it.
And if you spend your time CONTROLLING engineering, or customer service, or any of the other things, you’re not IN COMMAND.

If I have one tip for you here, it’s to shine a spotlight on what you’re struggling to let go of control on. What TRIGGERS you?

Is it your significant other’s standard of childcare?
Is it that your team got the FONT SIZE wrong in your powerpoint presentation?
Is it that all your life’s earning’s is in this thing and you can’t afford to fail?

If any of that sounds vaguely familiar that’s the CONTROL MONSTER speaking.

But it comes from a good place. Become friends with it and teach it the difference between control and command.

Megan

Ps: If the idea of sifting through all this feels overwhelming, I can help. I have a free micro course coming up on my private Facebook Group ‘Core Beliefs for Business’. It’s a supportive community of women (and non-women) looking to take out glass ceilings that we hadn’t quite realized existed.

Filed Under: blocks, comfort zone, Core Belief Engineering, emotions, mindset

How to Overcome Disordered Eating {An Interview with the Gut Goddess}

August 16, 2018

How to Overcome Disordered EAtingDo you have a love-hate relationship with food?

Do you struggle with those little voices that criticize how you look even though you think of yourself as pretty conscious around body image?

Maybe you ask yourself, “Why do I keep tripping myself up, binging or not keeping my promise that I’ll go on a diet?”

It can make you feel like a loser to have these ‘failures’. You may even put yourself down because you haven’t been able to change your behaviour even though you’re intelligent and aware. You know you want to take action, but are not taking action – why is this?

I had the privilege to talk with Kezia Hall, the Gut Goddess, on her podcast about how mindset gets in our way from feeling powerful about our bodies, and about how to overcome disordered eating.

If you don’t know her, Kezia Hall, the Gut Goddess, runs Super-Naturally Healthy, a business dedicated to empowering and equipping people to bring greater health, healing, and joy into their life and world through nutritional and lifestyle changes. She also doesn’t shy away from talking about poop, which I love. That’s right. Poop conversations are really important, and I bet you don’t regularly have them!

So, how do you get out of the hamster wheel of wanting to eat healthy, but actually taking action? You start by taking a look at your beliefs around your body, around food, and around what is and is not healthy.

Have a listen to the podcast and tell me what you believe – what is your truth around healthy eating? What are some of the ways you operate and what do you believe about that? Is food huge an emotional issue for you? Are your beliefs carried down from your parents?

If you need help sorting out your beliefs around healthy eating and food, let’s chat about your situation and see how I can help.

 

Filed Under: beliefs, emotions, mindset Tagged With: beliefs, disordered eating, mindset

How to Conquer Biz Burnout and Get Your Creativity Back

August 15, 2018

Conquer biz burnoutIn the last little while, I have felt burnt out. I believe this is a result of a busy spring and me doing a lot of new things and being a lot more creative in my business. After being so busy, I hit a wall in July.

I wanted to discuss the feeling of hitting a wall. It comes in all forms. It can be the feeling of being burnt out, not having a lot to give, and maybe even feeling like you’re not in the right line of work.

This is especially true for entrepreneurs who may be wondering if it is all worth it. If maybe working a 9-5 and being able to leave it all at the door when they come home is better than running their own business. This question is always there for entrepreneurs and it’s not wrong to explore that.

When I hit walls or feel powerless, I know that it means I need to do a little more digging and exploration within me. I hit a wall after the spring when I offered my own e-course, a workshop as well as my one-on-one work. I knew I had hit it because I love to communicate and I am an extrovert, yet I found myself not wanting to connect and be out there on social media via video, etc.

I needed to find out what was going on with me.

I was caught up with my beliefs around work. Our beliefs are fairly universal: we need to work to make money and be successful, etc. This is generally inherited from our ancestors, who literally needed to work all the time. Working in the fields, doing laundry by hand, etc. We still run a lot of these beliefs – to the point that it can burn us out. In addition, we are constantly on our screens – constantly connected.

I felt I was only successful if I was working like a dog. This comes from my parents and my husband. Thankfully, I also had a lot of influences letting me know that is okay to take some time off. To take time to do things that bring me pleasure. By doing this, I opened myself up to creating space for other ideas and moments.

Entrepreneurs, especially those who are parents, don’t often take time off for themselves. We don’t allow ourselves time to sit and be quiet. So, upon discovering my own wall and how to move past it, I now invite you to take some time to just be quiet. To let the voices come in that will tell you what you need to do next. The ideas that will take your business to the next level. These voices will only come in if you take the time to be quiet and create the space to allow these voices to come in.

If you allow this space and silence, you will get the inspiration you need to figure out what you have to offer this world, how you can be the most productive, and be in your zone of genius. This is what came to me this summer when I took the time to be quiet.

If you have been working the summer away – stop. Take some time out. Take the time needed to figure out what the best move for you is. Whether it is an hour a day to take a walk or months off – take the time to you need to reconnect with yourself.

If you need some extra help figuring out how to reconnect with yourself, let’s chat about your situation and figure out if I can help.

Filed Under: beliefs, comfort zone, communication, emotions, For Entrepreneurs, mindset Tagged With: beliefs, burnout, business beliefs, entrepreneur, entrepreneurial mindset

Three Ways Feminine Energy Will Grow Your Business

June 11, 2018

Three ways feminine energy will grow your businessThe exploration of feminine energy is a topic that has come up a lot. Men and women can bring in feminine energy to help grow their business, so it is not about being ‘anti-male’ energy. We are a balance of 50/50 male and female energy, but today, I am talking about three ways of embracing your feminine energy so you can grow your business. This applies to both female AND male business owners.

What is Masculine Energy?

Are you living in your masculine energy too much? Most time is spent in masculine energy. Spending time in male energy is more often than not seen as more important than female energy by society. Male energy can be defined as burning the midnight oil to the point of burn out.  It has to do with being too goal-oriented, working to the point of exhaustion, being competitive, setting hard goals for ourselves, etc. This could also include feeling as though we have to “suck it up” when experiencing an injury or hurt or spending too much time focusing on the competition.

What is Feminine Energy?

Feminine energy is collaboration, creativity, inclusiveness, listening to ourselves and our bodies, taking time out for ourselves, nurturing, etc. Basically, anything we associate as feminine. Being in touch with your feminine energy can grow your business.

Three ways to pay attention to your female energy

  • Listening – Listen to your clients and understand what they struggle with and how you can help them. Listening to this and being able to communicate how you can solve their problems will make them want to work with you and keep you in their lives.
  • Collaboration – whether you are building a business or looking to grow your business, you need to connect with communities and tribes that can support your initiative. Collaborate with other like-minded business people who can support and spread the word about you and your business. This could lead to business partnerships and referrals. It could also mean having a fellow business owner you can rely on for an open ear over coffee to discuss entrepreneurship. Collaboration is all about surrounding yourself with those who understand you.
  • Intuition – Use your intuition (what you feel) to guide your business. Instead of listening to your male energy that tells you something is logical and therefore you should do it, listen to your intuition. What do your feelings tell you? This is what Oprah Winfrey did in her career. While everyone was telling her to do one thing, she listened to and followed her intuition. She was told her magazine would not make any money and that her television network would not succeed, but she proved them wrong and followed her intuition, which proved prosperous!

Remember, the feminine energy can be applied to both men and women – we are a balance of 50/50 male and female energy. Being in touch with your feminine energy is being in touch with your feelings and with those around you in a way that will help you grow your business.

For more information on how to get in touch with your feminine energy book a free clarity call or join my free Facebook Community. It’s filled with other like-minded business owners who are looking to grow their businesses through a healthy mindset.

Filed Under: beliefs, communication, emotions, For Entrepreneurs, mindset, relationships, self-care Tagged With: entrepreneurial mindset, female entrepreneurs, mindset

Stop fearing what will happen if you raise your prices!

April 19, 2018

Time and time again I hear from people who feel they are over-delivering and under paid. When they look at their numbers at the end of the month they are not seeing the money they wish they had for the work they were doing.

I understand that feeling. For many years, I undercharged for services and before that I negotiated contracts for myself. I sucked at it. And I didn’t have anyone to guide me, until someone I worked with, guided me. When it came to asking people to pay me, I was too concerned with what other people felt and what their money fears and baggage were – instead of focussing on my own. I abdicated my responsibility for my own money mindset. When I realized what I was doing, I decided to start focussing on my money mindset.

By working on my money mindset, I was able to overcome the fears I have about raising my prices. I stopped leaving money on the table!

If you have reached your income ceiling and want to raise that ceiling then you need to work on your money mindset. Whether you are self-employed or working at a career where you know you should be earning more – don’t leave money on the table! Too often entrepreneurs are not charging their worth.

I am running a free webinar specifically on this topic. It’s Wednesday, April 25th at 4 p.m. and if you can’t make it live, still sign up – a replay will be sent to everyone who enrols. Many of us have beliefs about where we ‘should’ be financially, and those beliefs can limit us from really making the money we can make. Join me on the 25th and stop fearing what will happen if you raise your prices or ask your boss for more money!

Pricing webinar

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, For Entrepreneurs, mindset, Money, money mindset Tagged With: entrepreneurial mindset, mindset, money mindset, pricing

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