comfort zone

The solution – part 2 – Pick ONLY one: Command OR Control

January 27, 2020

“Take a route of exploration and creativity, set some simple goals you want to accomplish, and experience what it feels like to step into your authentic power, connect to your true self, and own your value!”

Does that sentence drive you into mild palpitation?

The nearest adult beverage perchance?

I know my kind says that sort of thing a lot. I have too, on many occasions. It’s all about context, though.

Before most people can absorb a message like that in my experience, it’s necessary to break a few factors down.

In my work with people, we craft something called a ‘Contract for Change’. If I were to make a word cloud of the things I hear most often it would consist of these words:

Calm
Confident
Not control-freaky
Less-obsessive
Less-perfectionist

To my mind what that screams is less CONTROL and more COMMAND.

Let’s use a cruise metaphor.

There’s an engineering department that keeps the ship moving. There’s a customer service department that keeps the cruisers happy. There’s a kitchen with a head chef that keeps the people fed. There’s a health and sanitary department that makes sure 100s of floating people don’t get sick and die 😀

And there’s a captain.
Who commands all of it.

She doesn’t try to control all the details of the departments. Because she knows better.
Yet she channels the sum of the parts.
And if things go wrong, guess who gets to direct the fixing?
She does.

You are the captain.
Of your life. Of your career. All of it.
And if you spend your time CONTROLLING engineering, or customer service, or any of the other things, you’re not IN COMMAND.

If I have one tip for you here, it’s to shine a spotlight on what you’re struggling to let go of control on. What TRIGGERS you?

Is it your significant other’s standard of childcare?
Is it that your team got the FONT SIZE wrong in your powerpoint presentation?
Is it that all your life’s earning’s is in this thing and you can’t afford to fail?

If any of that sounds vaguely familiar that’s the CONTROL MONSTER speaking.

But it comes from a good place. Become friends with it and teach it the difference between control and command.

Megan

Ps: If the idea of sifting through all this feels overwhelming, I can help. I have a free micro course coming up on my private Facebook Group ‘Core Beliefs for Business’. It’s a supportive community of women (and non-women) looking to take out glass ceilings that we hadn’t quite realized existed.

How to Conquer Biz Burnout and Get Your Creativity Back

August 15, 2018

In the last little while, I have felt burnt out. I believe this is a result of a busy spring and me doing a lot of new things and being a lot more creative in my business. After being so busy, I hit a wall in July.

I wanted to discuss the feeling of hitting a wall. It comes in all forms. It can be the feeling of being burnt out, not having a lot to give, and maybe even feeling like you’re not in the right line of work.

This is especially true for entrepreneurs who may be wondering if it is all worth it. If maybe working a 9-5 and being able to leave it all at the door when they come home is better than running their own business. This question is always there for entrepreneurs and it’s not wrong to explore that.

When I hit walls or feel powerless, I know that it means I need to do a little more digging and exploration within me. I hit a wall after the spring when I offered my own e-course, a workshop as well as my one-on-one work. I knew I had hit it because I love to communicate and I am an extrovert, yet I found myself not wanting to connect and be out there on social media via video, etc.

I needed to find out what was going on with me.

I was caught up with my beliefs around work. Our beliefs are fairly universal: we need to work to make money and be successful, etc. This is generally inherited from our ancestors, who literally needed to work all the time. Working in the fields, doing laundry by hand, etc. We still run a lot of these beliefs – to the point that it can burn us out. In addition, we are constantly on our screens – constantly connected.

I felt I was only successful if I was working like a dog. This comes from my parents and my husband. Thankfully, I also had a lot of influences letting me know that is okay to take some time off. To take time to do things that bring me pleasure. By doing this, I opened myself up to creating space for other ideas and moments.

Entrepreneurs, especially those who are parents, don’t often take time off for themselves. We don’t allow ourselves time to sit and be quiet. So, upon discovering my own wall and how to move past it, I now invite you to take some time to just be quiet. To let the voices come in that will tell you what you need to do next. The ideas that will take your business to the next level. These voices will only come in if you take the time to be quiet and create the space to allow these voices to come in.

If you allow this space and silence, you will get the inspiration you need to figure out what you have to offer this world, how you can be the most productive, and be in your zone of genius. This is what came to me this summer when I took the time to be quiet.

If you have been working the summer away – stop. Take some time out. Take the time needed to figure out what the best move for you is. Whether it is an hour a day to take a walk or months off – take the time to you need to reconnect with yourself.

If you need some extra help figuring out how to reconnect with yourself, let’s chat about your situation and figure out if I can help.

Luminosity Podcast Guest: How beliefs and mindset affect your business and your life

July 3, 2018

I recently spoke with Maria Conde on her Luminosity Podcast about how beliefs and mindset can affect your business and your life. Maria Conde is the founder of Flourish and Freedom, a company dedicated to empowering women who want more in life. She helps people to regain their physical health and financial health so they can bring their gifts to this world and live a life of Grace & Ease. I encourage you to have a listen and let me know what part of my discussion with Maria resonates with you.

To listen to the Luminosity Podcast #8 with Megan O’Neill visit: http://mariaconde.com/luminosity-podcast-8-with-megan-oneill

Are you holding yourself back to avoid fame?

September 26, 2017

Are you holding yourself back to Do you ever stop yourself from moving forward in your business to avoid fame? This is coming up with many of my clients as well as friends. Even my husband and I were discussing this not too long ago. My husband wants to put a blog together, but he is stuck and not taking action on it. A blog is something he has wanted to do for a while as an extension of his 9-5 job and as an exercise in learning to express himself and step out of his comfort zone.

My husband is hesitating because he has a fear of becoming famous. He does not want to be put on a pedestal because of the expectations to keep it up, which could lead to a lot of overwhelming work.

The fear of becoming famous is not as uncommon as you may think. Many people have deep beliefs about this subject because we have seen many negative examples and results of being famous; take for example, childhood stars. However, we have also seen some really good examples of fame, such as Oprah, who worked her way up to being one of the most famous people in the world.

When it comes to our thoughts around fame, we need to think: What did Oprah have to do to work through her fears surrounding fame? What did she do that enabled her to take herself and her business to the next level?

If you strive to be the number one expert in whatever it is you do and want to become an authority, then you need to work through your fears around fame. You need to work through feeling like an imposter.

I work with my clients to determine what is behind their fears of being famous. For me it was privacy. I was afraid that I would lose my anonymity, which was to do with my fear of being judged. This was my mindset block.

It is often a mindset block that causes someone to not take action and therefore sends out negative messages to the universe, holding a person back.

When it comes to taking action or not taking action consider this:

What does the world lose as a result of you not putting yourself out there?

For my husband, he has a lot to say and share with the world that people will otherwise never know about unless he launches his blog.

I encourage you to think about what is holding you back in regards to fame. Why are you not creating to share, improve and serve the world? Dig deeper and see how you can break through the blocks preventing you from putting yourself out there.

If you need help to uncover what your mindset blocks are, schedule a free consultation and let’s chat, or join me and other like-minded business owners in my Core Beliefs for Business Facebook Group.

What is blocking you from talking about your success?

May 1, 2017

I recently attended the Businesswoman of the Year Awards in Ottawa, Ontario and spoke with the President of the Women’s Business Network of Ottawa, Karen Wilson, who helps put together this awards gala every year. We spoke about the accomplishments of the award nominees and winners. She said that every single woman who applied for these business awards had trouble filling out the part about themselves and their business. These women still struggle with their beliefs around success!

This fascinated me because these are the blocks I work with. Here are these successful businesswomen who struggle to talk about themselves—so if you’re just starting out and struggle, know it’s not just you! Even successful, award winning women business owners struggle to talk about themselves and their businesses!

The following day I was speaking with a financial coach who told me about how she struggles with accepting that she is successful. This woman has a degree from an Ivy League school and is very successful, yet she still struggles. Why is this?

Do men struggle with talking about themselves?

I don’t think so. Cultural messages that influence them as well as the beliefs that we develop as we grow up affect how we talk about ourselves. These messages tell us that women should not get too big for their britches; that women shouldn’t be too confident in their successes or they will come across too strong and immodest.

These beliefs are deadly to a woman’s mindset.

Hopefully by talking about this we can bring to light how to change this mindset for women in business and how the beliefs around success many women seem to have.

Do you struggle with talking about how great your product or service is? Have you tried faking it until you make it? Imagine what it would feel like if you just felt successful and were not afraid to talk about that success? Think about women you believe are successful and have a great mindset – think Oprah Winfrey. Think of how confident she has become throughout her career and how fearless she is to talk about herself.

Then do the deeper work. When people are not able to value themselves and their business that usually spills into other personal areas of their life. Perhaps they hesitate to advocate for themselves in their relationships or friendships—or other areas of their lives. These beliefs may start as far back as childhood and only once you start thinking about them and digging deep can you uncover them and then work on changing these beliefs.

If you would like to learn more about how to change your blocking beliefs and work on creating a healthier mindset, join my private Facebook Community or set up a time to chat with me. I look forward to connecting!

Join the Money Mindset Challenge

March 20, 2017

money mindset challenge The topic of money is often accompanied by feelings of discomfort, angst or avoidance. Does this sound familiar? Have you ever wondered why you feel awkward around money? For many people, earning money and spending money is a difficult subject to talk about and many times this is because our relationship with money is not a healthy one.

What is your relationship with money? Do you know your numbers and feel comfortable around money? If you are like many people, you may feel uncomfortable at the idea of spending money—especially if you are spending money on yourself or on something you may consider unnecessary.

Money Mindset and the Entrepreneur

If you are an entrepreneur, you may feel uncomfortable when it comes to asking for more money— you may feel anxious about charging what you’re really worth. This especially comes to light when it comes time to send customers their invoices. Do you find yourself hesitating to hit send because you are worried they won’t see the value in your product or service?

You shouldn’t hesitate to charge your worth. You should also feel good about spending money on yourself. The truth is, it’s not always easy to do, but with a little work everyone can have a healthy relationship with money.

They key to uncovering your struggles with money is to question your relationship with money and look at where you are weak and also look at areas where you are strong. This is one of the goals of the Money Mindset Challenge.

This challenge will have you break down your relationship with money so you can determine why you feel discomfort with it and how you can improve your relationship. It’s your opportunity to nurture your relationship with money and challenge yourself to break through your money blocks and earn more money!

Although this challenge will dig deep, it should only take about 20 minutes, once a week to complete. You will have plenty of time to ask questions, engage with like-minded people through my Facebook Group and find the answers you need to end self-sabotaging money beliefs and instead attract abundance!
For more information and to sign up for this thought-provoking challenge, visit the Money Mindset Challenge page.