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Megan O'Neill

Megan O'Neill

Core Belief Specialist

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blocks

Get back in command of your life!

April 3, 2020

As promised, I want to give you some ways in which you can start to find your calm and feel like you are in command. We all have different cubicles, if you will, in our brain. A whole bunch of subconscious activity that somehow comes together in a brilliant symphony that gets you through life. 

Think about it: There’s the part that when you get in the car – I’ll call it your ‘driving part’. You don’t really have to think when you’re driving somewhere, you just turn the car on, point yourself in the right direction (especially if it’s a long road trip), listen to the radio, sing along, use your wipers when you need to, and then BOOM, you’re suddenly at your destination. 

Then there’s the ‘mom part’. I have a mom part. When I’m in mom-mode, wearing my mom-hat, I tend to talk to my children in a certain way that I might not talk to my friends. So, we have all these different subconscious ‘parts’. 

I’m sure many of you have a ‘work part’ as well. You’re going about your morning, dropping into the coffee shop, ordering, going through those swinging doors, up the escalator, things that have become just so ingrained in you over the years that they almost become robotic. Until now.

The Fear Parts

And right now what many of you are going to be experiencing are ‘fear parts’, parts that were developed in your childhood that were initially created to protect you! Keep you safe from the monster under your bed, or the strange sounds your house made as it settled at night, anything really that protected you from “perceived danger.” And that fear in many ways – the part of your mind that is responsible for that fear – survived and it’s still a little kid and it hasn’t grown up. So what we want to do is we want to grow this fear part of you ALL THE WAY up.

One way you can do this is to create your most conscious mind. 

The mind that’s going to be leading you during that crisis. A mind that is knowing, a mind that’s calm, a mind that has experience. In order to do that, what I want you to understand is the part that’s coming up with all that fear and anxiety – it is actually not telling you the truth. 

It’s not based on fact. 

It’s not based on reality. 

What it’s based on is what you believe. 

And the good news is, you can change what you believe!

Here are some steps to help you to broaden and strengthen your conscious mind:

Strengthen Your Conscious Mind

Over the years working with my clients I’ve realized that you can spot when your ‘fear parts’ are overtaking your conscious mind when you recognize how old you feel. 

And that’s how my clients have always determined that they know that they are in those fear parts of their mind because they are not thinking rationally. 

They don’t feel their chronological age. 

They don’t feel strong. 

They don’t feel like the experienced, successful people they actually are – because they’re living in childhood fear-mode.

We don’t want these ‘fear parts’ to be in charge.

So, first what you’re going to do is this:

  1. Think back to a time of crisis in your life. Something you had to deal with that was particularly traumatic or difficult. 
  2. And I want you to write down what you learned from that and what the positive traits or beliefs that were created as a result of that. 
  3. I want you to really dig down deep and 
    1. find what lessons, 
    2. what beliefs,
    3. what feelings you acquired, on a positive level, that you learned from dealing with – and coming out the other side of – that trauma. 

The healthy beliefs that you have currently – that you’ve spent years developing because of your life experience, business, personal and otherwise, IS WHAT YOU TRULY ARE.

All of the strength that you’ve acquired over the years. All of the ability to pivot and to adapt and to learn is what’s going to help you weather the storm. Everybody has innate talents and innate strengths that they are born with, what I would call God-given. 

And these are going to be the things that you use in order to create the calm.

Then, I want you to imagine your best self.

  1. What you want to be, 
  2. Who you really are – what you envision that you can be. 
  3. I want you to imagine that you are a leader that can deal with anything, and that you are, in fact, in command of that rocking, stormy ship.
  4. What are those feelings and what are those beliefs and what are those traits? Write them down too!

And I want you to connect with those. And in the next while, my advice would be for you to go back and look at those two columns. Everything you learned from the crisis, all the knowledge, all the wisdom, all the life lessons, all the ingenuity. 

And then read column two, which I want you to imagine that you, during this time crisis, during this crisis period, are going to be your best self. Who is your best self? What does that look like? How does that best “self” feel? What actions do they take? How do they feel in their skin? 

The most important thing that anybody has ever done in a crisis is to adapt and learn. 

And we’ve survived this long as a human species because we have the ability to adapt, to learn, to survive, to be optimistic, to believe that we can do anything. And I one thousand percent believe these same traits – evolutionary traits, really – are going to get us through these next months.  

Reach out to me at any time, via MeganO’Neill.ca if you need some reassurance. We are all in this together. 

And I’ve found some time each day in which to help people who need an ear with mindset speciality.

Stay safe.

Megan

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, communication, mindset

The solution – part 2 – Pick ONLY one: Command OR Control

January 27, 2020

“Take a route of exploration and creativity, set some simple goals you want to accomplish, and experience what it feels like to step into your authentic power, connect to your true self, and own your value!”

Does that sentence drive you into mild palpitation?

The nearest adult beverage perchance?

I know my kind says that sort of thing a lot. I have too, on many occasions. It’s all about context, though.

Before most people can absorb a message like that in my experience, it’s necessary to break a few factors down.

In my work with people, we craft something called a ‘Contract for Change’. If I were to make a word cloud of the things I hear most often it would consist of these words:

  1. Calm
  2. Confident
  3. Not control-freaky
  4. Less-obsessive
  5. Less-perfectionist

To my mind what that screams is less CONTROL and more COMMAND.

Let’s use a cruise metaphor. 

There’s an engineering department that keeps the ship moving. There’s a customer service department that keeps the cruisers happy. There’s a kitchen with a head chef that keeps the people fed. There’s a health and sanitary department that makes sure 100s of floating people don’t get sick and die 😀

And there’s a captain.
Who commands all of it.

She doesn’t try to control all the details of the departments. Because she knows better.
Yet she channels the sum of the parts.
And if things go wrong, guess who gets to direct the fixing?
She does.

You are the captain.
Of your life. Of your career. All of it.
And if you spend your time CONTROLLING engineering, or customer service, or any of the other things, you’re not IN COMMAND.

If I have one tip for you here, it’s to shine a spotlight on what you’re struggling to let go of control on. What TRIGGERS you?

Is it your significant other’s standard of childcare?
Is it that your team got the FONT SIZE wrong in your powerpoint presentation?
Is it that all your life’s earning’s is in this thing and you can’t afford to fail?

If any of that sounds vaguely familiar that’s the CONTROL MONSTER speaking.

But it comes from a good place. Become friends with it and teach it the difference between control and command.

Megan

Ps: If the idea of sifting through all this feels overwhelming, I can help. I have a free micro course coming up on my private Facebook Group ‘Core Beliefs for Business’. It’s a supportive community of women (and non-women) looking to take out glass ceilings that we hadn’t quite realized existed.

Filed Under: blocks, comfort zone, Core Belief Engineering, emotions, mindset

Triggered? What to do when asked, “Do you offer a discount?”

August 29, 2018

What Can You Do if You are asked for a discountA few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone who asked me to discount my service. This is the first time in a long time this has happened to me. It’s not surprising and I was not insulted, but I know some people may have felt that way. So, I wanted to ask you: how do you feel when someone asks you for a discounted rate or price? And what can you do if you are asked for a discount?

In the “old days” when someone asked me for a discount, I thought it was something I had to do. This was a learning lesson for me in the beginning stages of my business, but as I went along I began to feel insulted when someone would ask for a discount. I was beginning to gain confidence and getting busier and felt insulted when someone would ask for a cheaper rate.

Now, when someone asks for a discount, I feel ambivalent. When this particular person asked me for a discount, I simply told them I do not offer discounts, but that I do offer different payment plans and options.

When someone asks you for a discount it tells you something about them and what they believe. They may believe your services or products are too expensive. This means they may not be your ideal client.

Take, for example, my fourteen-year old daughter. She recently went back to school shopping and upon looking at hundred-dollar jeans said the store was too expensive. Well, for a teen making babysitting money – yes, that is expensive. So, she is not that store’s ideal client. And if she were to ask for a discount, they certainly would not give it to her.

If you are being triggered by someone who is asking for a discount then there is a part of you feeling insecure about how much you are worth and how much you are charging. This speaks to your money blocks and this is an opportunity to look closer at that.

If you feel called to give someone a discount, for whatever the reason, know that there are no rules. If it comes from a place of good versus fear they cannot afford you – that is okay. But if you do not want to discount, then don’t. Instead, try keeping someone on hand who is cheaper than you. This way you have someone you can refer people to. Remember: not everyone is right for you and you don’t have to work with everyone.

The other thing to keep in mind is cultural beliefs. In Canada, we are sticker price people – generally, what is on the sticker is what we pay. But when I used to travel to Southeast Asia it was all about haggling and negotiating the price. So, remember that when someone asks for a discount that it is not about you, but could be about their beliefs.

And as much as it could be about them – don’t forget to look within yourself as well. What do you believe about your products or service? Remember, you are sending out an energy. You can look at your prices if you want to, but you should also look within yourself. If you don’t value what you do or what you are offering people than that is a beacon you are sending out to people.

If this feels familiar to you, then you more than likely have money beliefs that need to be worked on. Book a free 45-minute clarity call and let’s see how we can work together.

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, emotions, For Entrepreneurs, Money, money mindset Tagged With: money blocks, money mindset, money triggers

Stop fearing what will happen if you raise your prices!

April 19, 2018

Time and time again I hear from people who feel they are over-delivering and under paid. When they look at their numbers at the end of the month they are not seeing the money they wish they had for the work they were doing.

I understand that feeling. For many years, I undercharged for services and before that I negotiated contracts for myself. I sucked at it. And I didn’t have anyone to guide me, until someone I worked with, guided me. When it came to asking people to pay me, I was too concerned with what other people felt and what their money fears and baggage were – instead of focussing on my own. I abdicated my responsibility for my own money mindset. When I realized what I was doing, I decided to start focussing on my money mindset.

By working on my money mindset, I was able to overcome the fears I have about raising my prices. I stopped leaving money on the table!

If you have reached your income ceiling and want to raise that ceiling then you need to work on your money mindset. Whether you are self-employed or working at a career where you know you should be earning more – don’t leave money on the table! Too often entrepreneurs are not charging their worth.

I am running a free webinar specifically on this topic. It’s Wednesday, April 25th at 4 p.m. and if you can’t make it live, still sign up – a replay will be sent to everyone who enrols. Many of us have beliefs about where we ‘should’ be financially, and those beliefs can limit us from really making the money we can make. Join me on the 25th and stop fearing what will happen if you raise your prices or ask your boss for more money!

Pricing webinar

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, For Entrepreneurs, mindset, Money, money mindset Tagged With: entrepreneurial mindset, mindset, money mindset, pricing

What to do when clients want you to work weekends and evenings

April 14, 2018

What to do when clients want you to work weekends and eveningsIf you’re a mompreneur or a parent who runs their own service-based business, it can be tough to set boundaries with clients. I have clients who ask me what to do when they are asked to work weekends and evenings – a commitment that can be very tough as a work-at-home parent.

There are a few key things you can do when your clients ask you to work weekends and evenings when that is not what you want to do.

Set Boundaries

When you first start working with a client, be very clear on what hours and days you are available to work. You need to put these hours in your calendar and you need to stick with them. Be clear and concise when communicating these hours with your clients.

Of course, this can be easier said than done.

Value Yourself

Often what happens is money fears come in – business owners worry clients will walk away and won’t come back. So, they accept that they will have to work evenings and weekends, and eventually grow resentful and overwhelmed.

People get locked in their business when they start working hours that don’t work well for their personal life. This creates self-sabotage, which can stall or ruin a business.

Before committing to something you don’t really want, you need to understand the value that you bring to your clients.

 

Why do your clients need you?

What value do you bring to your clients?

These are important questions because once you know the answers, you will be able to stand in your power and effectively communicate the hours you want to work.

Work on your money mindset

You also need to work on your money fears. Money mindset is one of the biggest things that can block you from success in your business.

If your clients value you and your work then they will find the time to work with you. They will understand the value they are getting from you. In return, you will avoid feeling resentful and overwhelmed and will enjoy the work you do for them.

Get clear. Talk to me about your mindset blocks and struggles that are blocking you from reaching success. I am offering free 45-minute consultation calls and I also have a lovely free Facebook Group filled with entrepreneurs and small business owners. Don’t wait until the self-sabotage settles in – start working on your mindset struggles now.

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, For Entrepreneurs, mindset Tagged With: core belief engineering for entrepreneurs, entrepreneur, entrepreneurial mindset

The Power of Intention

February 5, 2018

IntentionA couple of months ago I picked up a DVD set of Oprah Winfrey’s old TV talk show. One of the episodes featured an interview with Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul. Throughout the interview, they discussed the book and Oprah admitted the book contained practical advice that she was able to apply to her career, particularly the “principle of intention.”

In brief, the “principle of intention” surrounds the idea that the power of our thoughts sends out an energy and that is what causes the outcome; a cause and effect theory – with your thoughts being the cause.

The Power of our Fears

When you look at someone like Oprah Winfrey – she has used intention to guide her business. Her intention became focused on how her show could best serve the world.

Ultimately, I think a lot of us feel our businesses are a service – that our businesses help others. But this is not always the intent we set out in our businesses. I know for myself, what I put out there in my business is not always intentional. I have acted on my fear of failure. I have been influenced by my fear of scarcity. For example when I think, “I cannot lose this client because I need the money!”

We often get caught up in our fears.

Our fears are fed by the negative voices that disconnect us to why we started our businesses in the first place. Our fears, therefore, influence our intent.

Focus on Intention

If you take a moment to focus on what you want your business to be, you will inevitably go down the right road.

Personally, I am trying to do everything with the intention of helping people with their mindset – from the calls I make to the videos I create. I want my intention to be an active part of everything I am doing.

Connect yourself with what your intention is.

If your fears get in the way, acknowledge them and then chose to work to overcome them in order to create the business you intended.

How has intention affected your business?

If find yourself struggling with what your intention is or find your intention is blocked by fears, join me in my free Core Belief for Business Owners Facebook Group or set up a free call and let’s talk.

Filed Under: beliefs, blocks, For Entrepreneurs, mindset Tagged With: fears, intention, mindset, mindset blocks, Oprah

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