Megan O'Neill

Mindset Mentor

beliefs

When should I go to relationship therapy?

If you notice that you and your significant other are having the same arguments or conflict over and over again and are unable to solve them on your own through research, courses, talking, etc. then it’s time to go to a relationship therapist. If you have not reached the change you want to see in your relationship, then it is time to go to a relationship therapist.

It is not uncommon for couples to see therapy as a last resort and actually be afraid of making that call. I work with a lot of people who are coming out of relationships and when I ask them why they didn’t seek professional help before things got too bad, it isn’t uncommon for them to say that they were afraid that therapy would mean the end of their relationship. One party often fears that they will be blamed for the problems in the relationship. In truth, their relationship ended because they did not seek the help and guidance they needed to work through their problems.

If a couple takes the time to look at their relationship closely and work on coming up with solutions to their problems with a qualified relationship therapist they will end up with a stronger and healthier relationship.

If you are having problems in your relationship and have questions or if you have a significant other who is reluctant to go to a relationship therapist, book a free 15-minute consultation with me. I also encourage you to check out my Facebook page or tweet me. You can also sign up for my email series that delves deeper into how emotional blocks could be affecting your relationship.

Are you your authentic self?

Many of us have heard that we need to be authentic and have an authentic voice in order to tell people what they need to know. The clients I work with, in particular the entrepreneurs I work with, struggle to become their real self – their authentic self. It is hard for them to become more of who they truly are because of fear.

There is a belief that by showing people your true self they may not like you. We fear not being liked. But when we fear being authentic, we fear expressing ourselves as the experts that we are – jeopardizing our success, and in business, long-term success is dependent on using our authentic voice.

This fear stops us from networking or talking to clients because we fear we are not knowledgeable enough in our area of expertise. We need to build that confidence and show people what we have to offer. To do this we need to overcome the crippling belief that we are not good enough.

How to overcome the fear

First, imagine your authentic self. How would you feel if you were free to be authentic? Visualize how you would look and then write these words down i.e., confident, smiling, etc.

Then, write down some of the fears or blocks that arise when you are asked to attend a networking event or speak about yourself.

By doing these exercises you will start to see the benefits of being your authentic self. Repeat this exercise whenever you find yourself backing away from being your authentic self.

The ability to realize and overcome our fears and be our authentic selves is important in business and in our personal relationships. If you can focus on what is stopping you from being authentic you will be able to work past the blocks and be your true self.

Are you struggling to pin down the fears that are blocking you from being authentic? Let’s schedule a free 15-minute consultation and get you started on finding your true self. I also encourage you to sign up for my email series. It’s designed to help you see how beliefs affect our every day relationships.

How to Avoid Communication Foul Ups

Cell phones are how many couples communicate. I often have clients tell me what their spouse said about something by reading it from a text message on their phone and then telling me how they reacted. This frustrates me. Communicating via text is a major block in working through problems in a relationship.

Remember when you would simply speak to someone over the telephone or by talking to him or her in person? A lot of people feel they can communicate better via the written (or typed) word. They feel they can articulate themselves better, but human beings have many senses including sight, which allows you to see a person’s body language, and hearing, which allows you to hear a person’s tone.

I encourage you to always work through problems by talking in person. In addition to this, pick a time that is advantageous to both people. Make sure you won’t be interrupted and meet in a mutual territory.

Lastly, speak with intention. Ask yourself what your intention is by having this conversation – resolution, understanding? Be clear with your intent.

If you have a block in your in-person communication, including the fear of confrontation, which is a common one, ask yourself what is blocking you and why?

Watch the video and then ask yourself how you can better your communication in your relationship. Then head over to my Facebook page or tweet me and share them with me or if you need more help in uncovering how your beliefs and fears may be harming your relationship, sign up for my email series.

The Blood Moon may be more important to your relationship than you know

Did you see the Blood Moon last Sunday? The Ancient Greeks and Romans believed that the moon had a great effect on our emotions. So, this week, I’m inspired to talk about how important our beliefs about emotions are, and how those beliefs may be impacting our relationships.

Emotions are tremendously important to our relationships. Have you ever questioned how you respond to the world emotionally? What about your partner? How does your partner respond?

What you believe about emotions could either help or hinder the communication in your relationship. If you have a different belief about emotion, for example you believe displaying anger is okay, but your partner does not then you could potentially shut down the communication in your relationship.

Emotions can be misconstrued as manipulation or wrongly interpreted. It is important to go through your emotions and figure out what you believe about emotions and then ask yourself if certain emotions are not permissible i.e., does sadness make you uncomfortable. Lastly, ask yourself if there are any blocks stopping you from expressing emotion.

By defining your emotions and being honest with yourself and your partner you are able to open the lines of communication and have a healthy relationship.

If you need more help on beliefs and emotions, I encourage you to sign up for my email series. It’s designed to help you see how beliefs affect our relationships.