You may be thinking a lot about your “EX” lately. Perhaps remembering the good Ol’ days from long ago. Have you been stalking their Facebook page to see what they look like now? If you are contemplating an ‘ex’ friend request, please read on for a couple of problems that may result.
I’m focusing on Facebook primarily because I have been finding that so many of the problems I work on with couples arise from this form of social media. They seem to be on Facebook for an exorbitant amount of time each day and it really prevents couples from spending time together. Let’s face it, it’s really hard to connect and learn about your spouse’s day when you’re buried in your tablet.
Secondly, and a more serious consequence to losing connection with your spouse, is that people start to look for greener grass. The vehicle for the betrayal of their spouse is more and more Facebook. So, if you are contemplating sending a Facebook friend request to an ex, please ask yourself honestly – WHAT do you hope to get from sending this friend request?
My observation is that often people send friend requests to an ex in an attempt to find that feeling within themselves that they feel they have lost in their current relationship or marriage. They feel they want to connect with a part of themselves they have lost. Instead of trying to reboot a feeling of fun or freedom through an outside source on Facebook, they need to do that on their own.
The final and probably the most important question you need to ask yourself before sending a friend request to an ex would be, do you feel honest enough to mention the friend request to your spouse or significant other? How you answer this question might determine whether or not you send that request.
As I continue to discuss what blocks us from a loving relationship over the coming weeks I invite you to head over to my Facebook page and let me know if you have ever sent a friend request to an ex. I would also like to know how it made you feel and what the outcome was. If you know someone who could benefit from my advice, share this video or tweet me.