“Take a route of exploration and creativity, set some simple goals you want to accomplish, and experience what it feels like to step into your authentic power, connect to your true self, and own your value!”
Does that sentence drive you into mild palpitation?
The nearest adult beverage perchance?
I know my kind says that sort of thing a lot. I have too, on many occasions. It’s all about context, though.
Before most people can absorb a message like that in my experience, it’s necessary to break a few factors down.
In my work with people, we craft something called a ‘Contract for Change’. If I were to make a word cloud of the things I hear most often it would consist of these words:
- Not control-freaky
To my mind what that screams is less CONTROL and more COMMAND.
Let’s use a cruise metaphor.
There’s an engineering department that keeps the ship moving. There’s a customer service department that keeps the cruisers happy. There’s a kitchen with a head chef that keeps the people fed. There’s a health and sanitary department that makes sure 100s of floating people don’t get sick and die 😀
And there’s a captain.
Who commands all of it.
She doesn’t try to control all the details of the departments. Because she knows better.
Yet she channels the sum of the parts.
And if things go wrong, guess who gets to direct the fixing?
You are the captain.
Of your life. Of your career. All of it.
And if you spend your time CONTROLLING engineering, or customer service, or any of the other things, you’re not IN COMMAND.
If I have one tip for you here, it’s to shine a spotlight on what you’re struggling to let go of control on. What TRIGGERS you?
Is it your significant other’s standard of childcare?
Is it that your team got the FONT SIZE wrong in your powerpoint presentation?
Is it that all your life’s earning’s is in this thing and you can’t afford to fail?
If any of that sounds vaguely familiar that’s the CONTROL MONSTER speaking.
But it comes from a good place. Become friends with it and teach it the difference between control and command.
Ps: If the idea of sifting through all this feels overwhelming, I can help. I have a free micro course coming up on my private Facebook Group ‘Core Beliefs for Business’. It’s a supportive community of women (and non-women) looking to take out glass ceilings that we hadn’t quite realized existed.